My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
