sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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