need another drink. this is the easiest way
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
