he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
There's always time for handjobs
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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