I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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