Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
