youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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