Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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