What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
