how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
