hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
