hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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