let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He uses pillows to masturbate.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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