he wants to bone in the snuggie
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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