life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
