Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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