you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You ate ashes out of my bong
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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