I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
