Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
