and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Of course I have a pirate flag
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
