Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
