I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
