Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
