So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
