I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
