Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
