i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
