If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
