i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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