Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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