dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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