you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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