There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
