Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
