Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
