all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
