nut hugger
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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