dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i just google imaged poop.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
