From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Shame - the story of my life.
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