someone threw a dead crab at me
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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