Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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