Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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