you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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