Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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