found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
