best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
