There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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