I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You pole danced in your parka.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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