I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
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