i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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