but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
